100th Blog Post!

HI!

So this is my 100th blog post 🙂 ! (Though I’m feeling down, I do want to mention this + end the week positive!)

To be honest I am so glad I started blogging and found a way to let my feelings out, and especially finding people who deal with the same.

I met a very special woman her on WordPress, who turned out to be Dutch as well! She’s become very important to me in the short period of time since we know each other.
So I sort of want to ‘dedicate’ this post to her!

For her intelligence, advice, support, strength. She truly is inspirational 🙂

Justeramaajarvi!
Thanks for your support and advice!

You are really a clear line for me here on WordPress 🙂

And of course thank you to everyone who reads my blog, comments and/or like’s my posts!
I am very thankful for that, and if you’re wondering if you are part of the people I’m talking/writing about right now… well.. if you’re reading this, you are 🙂
So thank you VERY much!

xoxo
Brianna

Shame

Hi..

I am a little ashamed for my explosion yesterday, or anyway the post before this one.
Not doing that great actually, today was ok. Ok as in I only cried once today.

Tomorrow I’m going to a meeting. I’m gonna see some people who have self harm issue’s as well.

I don’t even know what to type, I’m just down I guess. I don’t want to talk. At this point I am kinda wishing someone was sitting next to me on the couch, just having fun, watching the Voice of Holland and just laughing, commenting, sharing opinions, shouting because the person we/I/she/he like(s) isn’t going through and stuff like that.

Sometimes saying sorry doesn’t mean things will go back to the way they were, it just means you wish they did.
To be honest, I didn’t see this coming, this amount of pain, I can keep pretending it’s not here and I don’t miss anything at all. But the truth is, the only thing I’m sure of, is that it’s here and I do. I feel like a bitch, a nagging bitch, who made her own bed and should lie in it. But I never meant to make the bed like this, I really didn’t. The silence around me is lancinating, the emptiness I see makes my eyes tear, but knowing it will never be filled by YOU, makes me want to die.

I guess I’ll be okay, but maybe just not today?

xoxo
Brianna