Oh my, what a day!
First I had a talk with Polly, which was ok. Just really standard.. but ah, I’m glad I have her for 2 hours a week. I can always vent my stuff
Then I talked to this old internet friend of mine (I wrote about him once… Hmm I’ll call him Sander). And it was really funny. I really laughed a lot and it was just like old times. Talking about random things, laughing.. teasing each other. So my afternoon was kind of fun actually.
Then I had to go to the vet with baby girl. Which was terrible. Been there an hour but she just wouldn’t calm down 😦 the vet was really nice and very helpful.
After that my mum, for the hair dresser. Well that was ok. Just the normal tension.
But right now. Please drug me. I’m so wobbly (what a funny word though!) restless in my arms especially. Smelling things from my childhood which trigger me. (They aren’t here though, I have this a lot sometimes, I guess it’s a ‘smell memory’? Like smelling your dog after he already died and stuff… )
I do need to clean the litter box today (Last time was Sunday which ended in me gagging uncontrollably again and shaking over my whole body) so I’m kind of scared of that now. Plus I really gotta try to clean myself in some way. Showering might be a step to far. So maybe just at the sink in the bathroom. Ugh, why is this so annoying? Cause.. yeah my clothes are clean, I use deodorant etc. so I don’t think I’m very smelly. My mum usually tells me, ‘Brianna, you’re getting smelly’, but she didn’t say that today so I guess I’m ok? Anyway, I feel disgusting, but I know showering wont help me. So that’s a struggle.
I am really balancing on a small cord and I can’t do that for too long. But I do have to clean the litter box + myself. So I’m just gonna do that now I guess.. and hope I wont fall down.
Tomorrow therapy. + Talk with Brandon.