I miss you

You, sanity.
You, safety.
You, friend.
You, comfort.
You,….
I just can’t bring myself up to type the name.

I had an interesting talk with Brandon today.
A lot of anger came out. I seem full of anger and revenge and yet full of pain and hurt. Of of course those two go hand in hand, but since when at the same time? I asked him if I was allowed to email him. He is actually the only person I can spill my guts to, though I know he prefers not, he agreed.

Dissociation is torturing me. Although I must be glad it’s just that instead of a memory/flashback.

Hurry back, cause you don’t know what it means to me.

It burns so bad. Inside me. It hurts like hell. It’s like my muscles are on fire.

I can’t believe it’s true, I keep looking for you.
I check my phone and wait to hear from you.
In the crowded room
The joker is so cruel.

And now I’ll never know,
If all I’ve been told
Is just a lie so bold,
I thought we would grow old.
Mirrors in the smoke
Left me here to choke

Where is my salvation?

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2 thoughts on “I miss you

  1. Hi, how we suffer. You write so beautifully. I used to be able to. But I can identify with all of you’re feelings and now, new to me is the dissociation. What a dark world in my head. I love your blog, and thank you!

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