Paying my dues

I was 3 years old
And still you saw
The biggest evil grew in me
And you had to declaw

A child so young
But yet you destroy
Beat it to the ground
Like an annoying plastic toy

People saw evil in me
When life had barely begun
And its the kind of evil
That can’t be undone

This rock keeps burning
Through my chest
Smothering my lungs
Though I did try my best

Evil so strong
Does fighting even make sense?
I know he disagrees
CPTSD was the expense

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6 thoughts on “Paying my dues

  1. No child is born evil, no matter what you were told. This is something that is so recognisable and I know you may not believe me, but if you can, look at young children. Are they what you would deem “evil”? I doubt it; they are toddlers who are at a critical stage in developing an identity.

    Am going to stop now, before I go on a big rant but I want to let you know you’re in my thoughts.

  2. I feel so sad reading this because I understand it. I, too, have glommed on to those messaged so unfairly engrained in me. I fight it daily, but I know, in my head, it’s untrue. You need to know that it’s untrue for you, too. 🌷

  3. Thank you for writing. Unfair to receive another’s evil and hold it as our own. Please know it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t deserve any of it.

    (PS. I’m so glad I found your blog. I hope you keep writing, but only as long as you’re okay with that 🙂

    • You know.. I never looked at this as holding someone elses evil as my own. It’s a whole different point of view. Another perspective. Thanks for sharing that with me! And for your support 🙂

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