The medicated world


Sticking to my medication recipe; 24/7 zombie by oxazepam + normal medication (topomax and prozac)

There is this huge part of me who fights against taking the extra’s. Because I don’t want to rely on that kind of medication. But it’s 11 pm right now and I haven’t cried for at least 3 hours right now, and that is really a record! Sure, I have felt depressed and have been sitting on my couch staring. Made rude comments to people saying ‘life sucks’ and ‘who cares’. BUT I haven’t cried.

So maybe there’s a plus size to this whole zombie oxazepam thing.

Today I phoned again with the therapist (it’s the second time I did that) and it’s already getting too much for her. She actually told me to go talk to Betty. While she knows I can not talk to Betty. I have major issue’s with Betty, Betty knows and even put that in my file. Felt a bit irritated by that, but ok. We’ll see tomorrow.

Tomorrow I’ll have to work again. I AM gonna take my medication, but I will take it around 2 pm, then when I go to work, it wont be to strong anymore and hopefully people will get their drinks properly.. and their change of course.

Saturday I’ll be going on a birthday party (with sleep over) which should be fun. It’s from one of the girls from therapy.
Sunday there’s something fun to do at work, in the afternoon, so I’ll go there as well.
It seems like my weekend has got some distraction at least 🙂

Current state; head above water, finally!


2 thoughts on “The medicated world

  1. dont worry, you are relatively medication free compared to me. you say you take 2 normal + 1 prn. I take 12 normals, + 3 prns. so, i am not a zombie, or all drugged out, or addicted. this is what i need to keep my biochemistry in order so i can be functional. so, dont worry, taking meds that help you be you, but less depressed and more stable, is a good thing. 🙂

    • Thanks for pointing that out to me, I can get lost and be negative about it (real much) but in the end, if it helps and makes me feel better and function better, it should be ok 🙂

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