After my big (dark)-blue cloud, and writing the blog post on here, which really helped. I realize just writing here, and being honest and open and getting the support from fellow bloggers is so helpful, which I think kind of lifted me up. Maybe I just wanted to be heard. To be seen, within my loneliness.
Even if it’s from a distance.
Since I’ve been sitting at home, inside all day, with this stupid cold. I wanted to go out, but not alone. I wanted to ask Abraham (yup, we can use the name again. I think being heard and seen made me a lot calmer and I think I knew what I needed, so I wanted to ask Abraham) to go for a walk outside. I knew, the chances of him saying yes were 0,001%, but I just wanted to ask him. He said he wasn’t in town.
And then this weird thing happened. I was like; well okay!
I texted him back; ok!
And I didn’t even really mind the fact that he said no. But I really enjoyed the clarity of the no. I don’t need to sit all evening doubting myself if I should ask him. Or maybe even cry because I feel so alone. I actually felt quite good. Maybe some other time.
I cleaned the house a bit, did the laundry (I was real behind on that), I even cooked myself some dinner (may I add that I haven’t cooked in the last 9 months) and right now I’m pretty tired so I’m going to go to bed.
Tomorrow Polly will come (hopefully), and I’ll be going to the pet store, because it was baby girl and baby boy’s birthday today! They turned 6 😀
I’m such a proud mum 😀 I’m gonna buy them 2 toys and a little treat.
Here a picture of them I took today 🙂