Cause and effect

Hi,

I see where they get the ‘stress’ from post traumatic STRESS disorder 😉
It’s very simple, without blaming anyone, because I really don’t neither him nor myself, it’s a simple cause and effect.

Cause; feeling unsafe (trigger). Losing control in my save place (police entered my house). Triggers to a past situation which was very intense, a situation that still troubles me to this day, even though it was 6 years ago (involved a crisis intervention and people coming to my house without me knowing, and trying to take me away (only thing is, they succeeded)).

Effect; I don’t feel save anymore. I am very alert.

People ask me how I’m doing? I’m ok. I truly am. Am I suicidal? No, honestly , I’m not. Am I depressed? Nope, I’m no depressed either.

I am busy.

With what?

Busy with watching everything around me. My house isn’t my save place anymore. I am scared in my own livingroom. I have to be alert 24/7. I don’t have time to focus or even to take a minute and think about how I am feeling. NO, no time left. Got to stay alert.

Of course the word ‘okay’ as in ‘being okay’  can be discussed, but I am not suicidal nor depressed. Nor do I feel the need to act harmful to myself. I am 100% focussed on my environment.

Is this the best situation? No, probably not. But right now, the best way to get through my sunday.

xoxo
Brianna

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6 thoughts on “Cause and effect

  1. You are right in that it isn’t the best place to be in but you getting through it, hopefully this feeling of your home not being safe will soon pass. I know it can be very tiring mentally and physically when you can’t switch off at all

    • Thanks for your comment!
      It’s very tiring indeed. I decided I need a different approach, so I’m more in the distract-mode right now 🙂 which is a lot more helpful!

  2. I’m so sorry you feel like this. Those police check-ins are supposed to be for your health, but from a client perspective they are very scary. I’m glad you were not hospitalized yesterday. Have you spoken with the person who called them, yet?

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