PTSD is taking all of my energy

Hi,

So today had to be a normal day.
But even the most normal things are hard for me to do.

Big troubles with anxiety, flashbacks and dissociation today and I feel totally worn out right now. I’m ready to start crying like a baby and scream till someone comes and picks me up and takes me to bed.

PTSD is taking all of my energy. I feel  I can’t afford to slip much further.. I feel drained. Like I’ve been tapped… Someone has taken all of my blood but somehow still expects me to keep on living.
And the fun part is.. I get to sleep now, but sleep + night-time, never really means rest to me. So probably around 7 am (when it’s a little lighter outside) I’ll get some good sleep, till hopefully noon. And then, survive the saturday…

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets… ?

xoxo
Brianna

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11 thoughts on “PTSD is taking all of my energy

  1. May I ask, do you practice to limit your dissociation?

    have you noticed the change in the speed of the mind, fast when stressed or triggered. Fight or flight is engaging the adrenal stress response, so we are pumping blood to the extremities, releasing cortisol and adrenaline.

    This is extremely tiring for the body, that is why we get exhausted, feeling whipped and most of it is mental.

    • I don’t really know how to limit except try to keep myself in the present with excercises.
      I really was totally exhausted, slept till 5 pm today :/ through all my alarms.
      Thanks for your comment!

  2. You can practice mindfulness, that is following your breath, slowing the mind, engaging the sympathetic nervous system, applying the brakes, depleting cortisol.

    It only takes short intervals of practice three minutes and being aware if you are present or dissociating.

    The crying like a baby is trauma engaged from childhood. At times I would feel just like a kid with triggers, and it is because trauma is stored at the time it happens with the skills of a child for C -PTSD.

    Healing is staying present, observing the thoughts without thinking and they integrate to present time, evaporate that is.

    When I healed the same fears and thoughts were alive but they had no power anymore. I knew they were not real or dangerous , a waste of time

  3. Briana… I will be praying for you. CPTSD is exhausting with your senses on “high alert” all the time. I pray for God to give you rest and bring healing to your body, soul, and spirit. Our wounds of our past are deep and take time to be healed… we have to take it one day at a time. Many blessings to you!!

      • Exactly, I chased the cognitive side, trying to figure a way out, think, look for a plan to manipulate, to deflect my focus to something else, to question the thoughts to the point I ended up agoraphobic for six months in my garage.

        It is simple to heal. Let the complexities of things like guilt, shame fear emotions alone. Mo serve them while focusing on the breath.

        The ego, our thoughts, judgments, comparisons are tiny, impermanent, powerless without attention, and air without actions.

        I healed not thinking, not giving any attention positive or negative to my dad, to thoughts at all. I observed the sensations that correlated in my body. Patterns of the mind of the ego.

        My ego, my thoughts I visualize are at the end of my finger tips with my arms straight out in front of me, an appendage.

        What happens if you give attention to your breath and let go of the thoughts.

        It is as easy as that, repeated over and over. The mind is not complex to program, it is difficult and responds best to immediate, concrete ideas practiced daily, respectively until habit takes over.

        Little actions like these pay huge dividends in a months time

  4. Mindfulness can go way beyond therapy. A skilled therapist would recommend even facilitate a mindfulness program, it makes her job easier.

    Mindfulness is something we can do on our own. If we go to therapy once a week and in a month we have visited for 4 hours.

    So, in a month we have 30 days times 24 hours in each day equals = 720 minus – 4 hours equals 716 hours.

    In a month we spend 4 hours with a therapist and )716 hours on our own.

    Where do you think our healing happens?

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