So this was my last therapy day for 2013.
I guess it was good.
We had a lot of fun with the girls a lot of laughing but I noticed or I think I noticed a lot of tension from everyone just because of the holidays, I did talk to Betty for a short while, we talked about christmas and new years.. I told about my plans and stuff, cried about me being alone at new years 😛 . But somehow it felt ok… I did leave the room because it felt like too much, but in the end it felt ok. It feels okay to not be okay with being alone at new years.
I feel a little bit more positive. (And a little torn about the word ‘little’ in the sentence, because at some point a lot, because I don’t have any suicidal thoughts, but I don’t feel really much better as in, the dark cloud is still hanging above my head… but thankful for the absence of suicidal thoughts! 🙂 nobody needs those!)
I’ll just try to live this ‘holiday’ day by day.
I do realize I am very tense. Very sensitive to other people’s reaction. Like a friend of mine (who has absolutely NO understanding for mental health) made a comment about therapy today and it just went wrong (well it always does, but this time, my reaction was different.. he actually said sorry for his comment! :O ) and just worrying about the people who I’m talking to that they’re upset with me because they’re using an emoticon less or more… you know, little things. Just tense.
Anyway, going to live it day by day. Luckily it’s no long holiday!!
January 2nd I’ll have to be there again, and I will be, gladly 😉 .
See my girls again 😀
They’re really growing on me 🙂
And that’s weird, because we don’t always agree, by far sometimes, but that doesn’t matter, because I’m ok with not agreeing with someone as long as we accept each others as we are, and we do that! So I still think they’re great 😀 they just have their own (different) opinion and that’s ok 🙂
Wish real life was that simple.. 🙂