I’m sorry, this may be a little pitty-party. I’m a little upset, angry, confused, disappointed and hurt. But I do feel obligated to warn you about the high pitty-ness-content.
“After almost a year of treatment there is little progress with Brianna” – my evaluation from therapy
Well thank you. I’m doing my best!!!! What is going wrong? If there’s something I’m doing wrong, why don’t they tell me? It can’t be the cptsd, because all the other women have that aswell. So why is there ‘little progress’…? The only positive thing they said is that I have become more open.. I seriously thought I was doing ok, but no.. I’m a freaking snail compared to everyone else -_-
Well isn’t that great 🙂 and in May I have to get out and go somewhere else, and continue my snail road.
Sorry, but I’m getting pissed. Why don’t they just say that to my face? So that I can ask them what the hell is wrong then? But when I do that, I’m being too demanding and spoiled about myself. Because I want more individual attention.
Feel like slapping myself in the face.
Yeah, I thought I was doing ok, also kinda slow, but hey, I’m getting the same attention as everyone else. So that can’t be too slow??
Waiting for a call from Brandon. Been so scared last night and this morning. When it got light out, I did sleep a few hours and slept well. But who cares right? Ok.. I’m sorry, I’m just really pissed and disappointed in myself.
I don’t know why I’m talking to Brandon. He can’t say anything else but that I need to endure my sadness and fears. meanwhile distract myself with stuff.
Betty said that I have to stop telling them how bad I’m feeling because they get it. But, but…… ok……. so what’s next? I am focussing on the solutions right? Enduring and stuff, but it makes me so tired and so hopeless that it just goes on and on.
I’m just wondering, why am I doing so slow? And what is the difference between me and others then? What makes me so slow?