Thank you nap!


What a nap can do to you! ๐Ÿ™‚ feeling a lot better, Brenda is more quiet as well and the tummy-ache is a lot less now.

I first talked to my bestie. She’s not doing well at all. But refuses help. I don’t want to force her, and when its the other way round she never forces me or calls my mum.
She’s really balancing on the edge. If she told her home counselor about what she’s feeling, thinking and doing she’d be locked up against her will.

I talked to her for 1,5 hours and made deals with her. Just between us. Until Tuesday, then she’ll see her therapist. I’m really hoping that will change something, I’m so afraid that she might hurt herself real bad or even worse.

I’m going to try to go to her on saturday, gotta see if I can make it financially. I hope though, really want to help her.

Untill then I’ll keep a close eye on her, talk to her everyday. Discuss things with her about what to do and how to make it as safe as possible (also because of dissociation).

Right now we’re talking about chit-chat, hot guys, haha, clothes and stuff. It seems like she’s doing a little bit more okay, well I think because of the way she writes (on Whats app), but she’s good at hiding things.

This is so unfair, such a beautiful, sweet and smart girl and she can’t live her life-like she wants to right now. Hasn’t been able to her whole life ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
I know she can make it, I really do, I’m just afraid she doesn’t.

Told my mum I’m scared about tomorrow, but she said that she’s with me and that it’ll be ok. And it kinda helped me.
She’ll be in the waiting room and I know she can be called in if I want to.
I know I’ll be taking Justeramaajarvi with me in my mind!

Tomorrow after the appointment I promised to go with a friend to pierce her tongue. I’m really hoping I’m stable enough and not dissociating too much, I just can’t cancel.. we’ve made this appointment a month ago. She wants me to hold her hand, which is sweet, and I’d love to help her. Lets hope she squeezes hard enough to keep me in the present ๐Ÿ˜‰
Anyway, my mum will be working at home, so after that if I’m feeling too shaky i can call her and she’ll pick me up.


One thought on “Thank you nap!

  1. Sweet Bri,
    My heart goes out to your best friend. I know you love her very much and from everything you write about her I know she feels the same way about you. I hope she can find strenght in your bond to hold on, to endure.
    I hope she will be able to cope and manages to get through this crisis. I wish for her to have a better life.

    Tell her that someone she doens’t know is thinking about her and is hoping that she’ll make it through this drowning pool of darkness.

    I hope you are able to go to her saturday, I really do.

    I’m glad the nap made you feel more relaxed ๐Ÿ™‚

    Take good care sweety.
    I’m with you tomorrow!


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