Well its 21.30 pm now.
I had a perfect day!!!!! 🙂
It may seem weird to use the word ‘perfect’, but it doesn’t mean that I felt 100% happy all the time. It just that I realized how blessed I am. The things I can. Really realizing it, feeling strong enough to see it, sun was shining outside, but in me as well!
I am able to clean my house on my own. I do have help at home, 2 times a week. I have therapy 2 times a week. I have the best, best friend a person could wish for. I have my own house. Two wonderful and beautiful cats who love me very much. I’ve got a wonderful sister who loves me so much, and even asked me to be her best man (woman?) on her wedding! I have a mum who loves me and supports me the best she can right now. I do have an income. I have a lovely home which feels save, in a save neighbourhood. I get to go to therapy with a taxi.
What a list! I’m thankful for everything right now. It doesn’t mean when I’m sad I’m not thankful, but that just means everything is so hard and I’m feeling like i can’t do this alone and stuff. But I do want to remind myself of what I have and cherish it 🙂 Because it’s never certain you have those things.
It seems weird, but I really want to thank God for having these things.
I did have some down moments this afternoon/evening. Of course my best friend knows my ins and outs and I know hers, so we also talked about that. It made me sad a little, but I’m glad we have the kind of friendship, where we pull eachother up, and not down. Whem I’m feeling down, and she contacts me. I am positive for her. Because I KNOW she will make it. I know she will work through it. i’m realistic and honest with her, but I have faith in her. & She has the same in me. We understand each other, because we’ve been through the same.
I didn’t let the down moments ruin my day, because I believe in myself. I’m confident. I know I have to watch out for the pitfalls (like right now, I’m getting VERY tired, and I can feel my mood falling down, so I started to think why, but I felt it in my whole body, I’m tired, not just sleepy but really not much energy left) and act on them. So I’m going to go to bed now (sleep with my security blanket (and of course one of the cats will come with (it’s like they take shifts :P))). Tomorrow will be a full day of therapy again + a talk with Brandon. So I’ll be there till 4 pm!