Fighting through

I read about Project Unbreakable earlier this week, saw it on Facebook a couple of times today.
It reminded me of a poem I wrote last month (never even heard of Project Unbreakable back then), but I thought it was ‘funny’ how I used the word ‘unbreakable’ in it, which I know see, relates to the project.

About the project; http://project-unbreakable.org/
It’s about sexual assault, so it can be triggering! 

This poem is triggering!

I lay in bed
Trying to calm down
it’s so dark outside
I feel like I’m about to drown

I hear her crying in my head
Trying to control it all
her despair.. the dark.. the memories
Sooner or later, i’ll fall

I feel like im numb
Yet i feel everything i ever felt
I’m losing the contact
Where is my life belt

Sitting on the couch
Seeing that brown leg
Covered in black hair
Maybe I should beg

I know whats coming
I don’t know what to do
See those dark blue boxers
Why cant i break through

My mind shuts down
What I’m so thankful for
i know now I’ll be able
To handle a little bit more

I’m just here to do my job
Then I can go back to bed
I probably wont sleep
But hopefully drop dead

I gasp for air
& look around
There’s my cat
Lying on the ground

She is still crying
Cause i know she doesn’t feel save
My crazy mind just proved to her
It doesn’t help to be brave

My body is shocking
I feel like such a fool
It must have been 15 years ago
life can be so cruel

I’m gonna hold on though
Not gonna let him win
Wont ever try
To commit the deadly sin

I know I am strong enough
one day I’ll break through
Look at the world and say;
I’m unbreakable, thank you!

26-08-2013

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